I am feeling prettu good now.. if you know what i mean, you are on the right track already.. but mostly you won't. So here is what i see.. i see my computer screen moving up and restarting from a bottem position again. do you know what a raster scan is.. its horizontal.. but that is what i see now.. only that it is vertical.
I have some confessions to make. When I goto some parties now.. i do go more often than i used to.. i don't really think about what other people think about me. Like suttu said "dance is about expressing oneself". you are right man suttu.
I have/had this self conscious thing about myself.. me being an indain.. i don't knw whether all indian desi's have this feeling, but i always had it.. even before i was here.. that i was being watched and it made me nervous.
Some really nice friends have made me realize that it doesn't really matter..
my really nice friends also thing i talk wierd stuff when i am a little drunk. I don't think so, maybe they don't hear this stuff everyday so that is why they think i am wierd.
I had a coversation with a good friend of mine recently. It was about Hitler. I think he was a normal guy, I mean who doesn't wan't to control the world? or who didn't want to control the world. more like who didn't want to "rule" the world. He lost. I agree. that doens't make him the loser. I mean think about what would have been had he kicked everyone's ass. She says "you not being an aryan would have died", maybe i wouldn't be alive to write this today, but all the world hates him cause he lost. had he somehow overcome his immense chool to slaughter ppl and just got on with his job, maybe he would have had what he wanted. i don't know what he wanted, but i think he wanted to rule the world.
I have used backspace a lot till now..
There are other things also. I have met some ppl from other nationalities. My manager once told me in a team meeting that indians have an advantage over the chinese. and it is that we speak a little better english than them. He also said that the chinese have realised that and that the current generation which passes out of the universities speak better english. My generation, i still believe we are better.
I don't want to be called a racist, but i have some unfavaourable opinions about the chinese. I talked about it to a chinese guy today and he was pretty angry. I mean i tell the truth and he is angry. WTF man. come live in my corridor and you will see what i mean.
i am bitching... hehehe it feels good.
I tried to send a girl a gift on facebook, but it costs money.. charged through you credit card. I mean i had a free gift to give, but it wasn't really nice.. so i didn't send it to her. am i drunk or wat.
so what else do am i thinking, i start my second try at learning swedish on monday. I want to learn it this time.. so even though place i have to go learn it is far away i will go learn it.
its snowing.. or rather it was snowing.. its been snowing intermittently for the last week. we made a snowman.. my first one. i thougt about calvin before i went and did one.
I am running out of money... life is good, maybe i won't regret coming here after all.
I wish i had more challenging things o do.
I used to write a dairy on my fedora3 system. I had to install windows many times and the boot loader, but i had managed to keep my dairy for three long years. Even though i use linux now, i don't write anything for myself, maybe its because i don't have my complete dairy with me.
I always have had this feeling. When i think about what i am, and what i think right now, i feel that after a few years(maybe one year) when i look back on what i am now, i will feel like i am a kid, i mean grow up man.. but thats the way it is
Its life.
Friday, February 20, 2009
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